By Lauren Bonvini
Lauren Bonvini is a Seattle-based stage fright coach who helps performers, speakers, and creatives work through performance anxiety and build confidence, presence, and self-trust. For many people, performance anxiety is not just about nerves before speaking or performing. It can shape how they show up in important moments, influence the opportunities they pursue, and affect how confidently they express themselves in front of others.
Performance anxiety can feel unpredictable and overwhelming. It can appear even when someone is well-prepared and experienced. A person may understand their material, care deeply about what they want to say, and still feel their body react with tension, hesitation, or fear. This disconnect between ability and experience is what makes performance anxiety so frustrating.
The good news is that confidence is not something reserved for a select few. It is something that can be built over time with the right approach. A practical, grounded method can help people move through performance anxiety and develop a steadier, more reliable sense of confidence.
For those looking to explore additional practical strategies, Lauren Bonvini has shared more detailed insights on working through stage fright in this resource.
This type of continued learning can reinforce the process and provide additional perspective.
Understanding Performance Anxiety
Performance anxiety is often misunderstood as a simple lack of confidence, but it is usually more complex. It can involve physical responses, mental patterns, and emotional reactions that reinforce each other.
Physically, performance anxiety may show up as:
- increased heart rate
- shallow breathing
- muscle tension
- trembling
- difficulty concentrating
Mentally, it can include:
- racing thoughts
- self-doubt
- fear of judgment
- overthinking
- catastrophic thinking about outcomes
Emotionally, it can feel like:
- fear of being seen
- fear of making mistakes
- pressure to perform perfectly
- fear of losing control
These layers combine to create an experience that feels much bigger than the moment itself. This is why performance anxiety can affect people across different fields, from public speaking and performing to professional presentations and creative expression.
Why Performance Anxiety Feels So Intense
Performance anxiety often feels intense because it involves visibility. When people speak, perform, or present in front of others, they are not just delivering information. They are being seen and evaluated.
This can activate deeper concerns such as:
- “What if I am judged?”
- “What if I make a mistake?”
- “What if I cannot recover?”
The body responds to these perceived risks quickly. Even if there is no real danger, the nervous system reacts as if there is. This reaction is not a sign of weakness. It is a natural response to pressure.
The challenge comes when people interpret that response as proof that something is wrong. Instead of seeing anxiety as a temporary state, they begin to see it as a limitation. This interpretation can increase fear and make the experience more difficult.
The Difference Between Anxiety and Ability
One of the most important shifts in overcoming performance anxiety is recognizing that anxiety does not define ability.
Many people who struggle with performance anxiety are highly capable. They have knowledge, skill, and experience. The difficulty is not a lack of ability, but a disruption in access to that ability under pressure.
When anxiety increases, attention narrows. The mind focuses on perceived threats instead of the task at hand. This makes it harder to think clearly, remember information, and communicate effectively.
Understanding this distinction helps reduce self-judgment. Instead of thinking, “I cannot do this,” it becomes clearer that the issue is “I am experiencing anxiety that is affecting my performance.”
That shift creates space for change.
A Practical Approach to Building Confidence
Confidence is not built by eliminating anxiety completely. It is built by learning how to function well even when some level of anxiety is present.
A practical approach to confidence building includes several key elements:
1. Preparation with Purpose
Preparation is important, but it needs to be effective rather than excessive. Preparing with purpose means focusing on:
- key ideas
- structure
- transitions
- clarity of message
It does not mean trying to control every detail or memorizing every word. Over-preparation driven by fear can increase pressure rather than reduce it.
The goal is to feel oriented and familiar with the material, not perfect.
2. Shifting Focus Away from Self-Monitoring
A common pattern with performance anxiety is excessive self-monitoring. People focus on:
- how they sound
- how they look
- whether they appear nervous
This internal focus increases pressure and makes it harder to stay present.
A more effective approach is to shift attention toward communication:
- What is the message?
- What matters most?
- How can this help the audience?
This shift reduces anxiety and improves clarity.
3. Working with the Body
Because performance anxiety is physical, it helps to use physical tools:
- slow, controlled breathing
- relaxed posture
- grounding through the feet
- releasing tension in the shoulders and jaw
These techniques signal safety to the body and reduce the intensity of the stress response.
4. Reframing the Experience
Instead of seeing anxiety as failure, it can be reframed as activation. Feeling something does not mean something is wrong. It often means the moment matters.
This shift reduces the secondary fear that often makes anxiety worse.
5. Building Confidence Through Repetition
Confidence grows through experience. Small, repeated actions are more effective than waiting for one perfect moment.
Examples include:
- speaking up in smaller settings
- practicing in low-pressure environments
- gradually increasing exposure
Each experience builds evidence that the person can handle the situation.
Moving Beyond Perfectionism
Perfectionism is one of the biggest barriers to confidence. It creates unrealistic expectations and increases pressure.
When perfection becomes the goal:
- mistakes feel unacceptable
- anxiety increases
- natural expression is restricted
In reality, people connect more with authenticity than perfection. A speaker or performer does not need to be flawless to be effective. They need to be present and clear.
Letting go of perfectionism allows for a more natural and confident experience.
The Role of Self-Trust
Confidence is closely tied to self-trust. When people trust themselves, they are more able to:
- recover from mistakes
- stay present
- adapt in real time
- continue even when things feel imperfect
Self-trust is built over time through experience and reflection. It grows when people recognize that they can handle discomfort and still move forward.
Learning Through Experience
Every speaking or performance experience provides an opportunity to learn. Instead of focusing only on what went wrong, it is more helpful to ask:
- What worked well?
- Where did I stay present?
- What can I improve next time?
This approach builds confidence gradually and reduces the tendency toward self-criticism.
Expanding Confidence Beyond One Moment
Confidence built through addressing performance anxiety extends beyond a single situation. It affects:
- communication
- creative expression
- professional presence
- leadership
- personal growth
As people become more comfortable being seen and heard, they often begin to take more opportunities and express themselves more freely.
Using Resources to Support Growth
Developing confidence is not something that has to be done alone. Many people benefit from learning through different formats, including written resources, structured guidance, and visual content.
For example, additional perspectives on stage fright and confidence building can be explored through presentation-style content such as this SlideShare:
Engaging with different formats can help reinforce understanding and make the process more practical and accessible.
A Sustainable Approach to Confidence
Confidence that lasts is not built through quick fixes. It is built through:
- consistent practice
- realistic expectations
- supportive self-talk
- gradual exposure
- reflection and adjustment
This approach creates a foundation that can be relied on over time.
Final Thoughts
Performance anxiety does not mean a person lacks ability. It means the moment carries weight and importance. By understanding how anxiety works and taking a practical approach to managing it, people can build real confidence that supports them in meaningful ways.
Lauren Bonvini is a Seattle-based stage fright coach who helps performers, speakers, and creatives develop confidence, work through performance anxiety, and show up with greater presence and self-trust.